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[Yes, Devon is still moping and depressed about what happened two months ago when his magic basically got hijacked and ended up freezing everyone. His magic has never run wild like that before, and even though it wasn't truly his magic he still feels at fault.]

How do you forgive yourself for doing something... bad? Even when you didn't mean for it to end up bad. In fact, it may not have even been totally your fault, but the hurt was still possible because of something you did.

[Does that even make sense? He hopes it does.]

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Ice... sculptures...

[ There's a pause. Please hold. Memories loading. ]

--What?! YOU made those?!

[Oh shit. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit. He knew people would be mad!]

Y-yes, but I made them as inanimate decorations by the fountain! I couldn’t make them come to life like they did! Something else did that!

[Well, okay, he probably could have made one or two of them do that, but certainly not all of them!]

Edited (Typing in your phone is hard and easy to submit early…) 2022-03-21 01:51 (UTC)

[ Though the memory did stir up some ire, she actually isn't angry so much as shocked. She wouldn't have thought that was even on the table! ]

To think all the weird things that happen here could actually be traced back to our individual actions... What if there are other cases like this? And you couldn't predict it happening at all?? --I could be next!!!

The magic here is certainly weird enough. It's not even something I can trace or follow the rules of, and I've had experience with a lot of different forms of magic.

If even a wizard like you can't keep track of it, there's really no hope for the rest of us...! I didn't realize I was walking such a dangerous line every time I made something!

Oh. OOOOHHH. I never thought of it that way! I just thought I was impacted because mine were made with magic.

Ah... [ She heaves a breath, coming back down to earth a bit. ] Right, maybe that's the case. It would make sense if it has to be something special to start with, before weird things can happen. That still puts a lot of people here at risk of doing it, but maybe it's not everyone.

It's hard to say what causes it really. I feel like weird stuff happens here all the time, and most of the time it's with no real rhyme or reason.

It's true... It's pretty rare that the strange things that happen here can be traced back to one person's actions. Maybe it just comes down to bad luck.

Bad luck just seems... to vague and improbable.

What... I wonder what it's like to go through life thinking bad luck is unlikely.

[Devon laughs, his face actually lighting up for the first time in a while]

No, no! It’s not that I don’t think bad luck exists! That definitely does! It’s just not the right explanation in this case. Bad luck is managing to steal a loaf of bread when you’re starving and then tripping and watching it fall in a puddle or waiting quietly for ages for the fish to come out only to sneeze at the last minute. The weird things that happen here feel much more… precise and intentional for them to be bad luck.

Being the one person out of all of us to make something unexpected and dangerous happen sounds a lot like bad luck to me, though. It would be one thing if you were intently wishing and willing for bad things to happen, but that doesn't sound like the case.

I don't think I'm the only one, though I might be the only one who can actually trace a decision I made back to the cause of an event. Generally I think there's too many crazy things happening here to call any one of them bad luck. It's too... planned.

Isn't getting chosen by the gods for something bad a form of bad luck in itself, though? Since that would naturally be all tangled up in things like fate, divine intervention, and so on. Bad luck on a grand scale, you know?

Ah... that's a good point. That's a pretty grand scale though.

They already got multiple universes involved when they started kidnapping us, so I'd say we're living on a pretty grand scale as it is.

Edited 2022-04-30 00:37 (UTC)

True... and it does feel a lot like luck of the draw on who got brought here. I can think of a lot better people than me where I'm from who would like to be touched.

Right? There are surely plenty of self-sacrificing heroic types who don't mind casual skinship, but they keep striking out on who they pick. It makes more sense if it's random, and then luck is really what it comes down to.

They wouldn't even need someone self-sacrificing. Just someone who likes people. Clearly they don't consider that.

[Though is it truly that they don't consider it or is it just that there isn't that much control?]

... Do you not like people?

I like people most of the time. A lot of them just don’t like me. Or at least my own people don’t.

I just didn’t explain very well. I’m not a touchy feely kind of person, if that makes sense?

[He never even got to experience those types of feelings when he was a kid, so now it’s rather ingrained. Plus, you have to trust people not to abandon you to get that close, and his abandonment issues are too extreme for that.]

[ Oh no, she wasn't trying to get him to say he was unpopular. What an awkward mood. ]

Ah, no, I can understand that. That's kinda what I meant--a lot of us here aren't too gung ho about that kind of thing.

[Unpopular is an understatement, man. He's flat out hated by most mages.]

Really? Here I thought it was just me.

[There's not even an ounce of sarcasm in that either. He hasn't found that many people who are bothered by the situation - or accidental touch from people in general - to the extent that he is.]

That's how I felt at first too! Sometimes it still feels like I'm making a big deal when everyone else can handle it--but there really are a surprising number of us, if you ask around.

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daikonrose - 2022-05-28 19:54 (UTC) - Expand

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