the4united: (downhearted)
Devon Darconin ([personal profile] the4united) wrote in [community profile] hugtopia2022-03-09 09:27 pm
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[Yes, Devon is still moping and depressed about what happened two months ago when his magic basically got hijacked and ended up freezing everyone.  His magic has never run wild like that before, and even though it wasn't truly his magic he still feels at fault.]

How do you forgive yourself for doing something... bad?  Even when you didn't mean for it to end up bad.  In fact, it may not have even been totally your fault, but the hurt was still possible because of something you did.  

[Does that even make sense?  He hopes it does.]


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the4united: (looking up)

[personal profile] the4united 2022-04-25 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
I don't think I'm the only one, though I might be the only one who can actually trace a decision I made back to the cause of an event. Generally I think there's too many crazy things happening here to call any one of them bad luck. It's too... planned.
daikonrose: (150)

[personal profile] daikonrose 2022-04-29 02:29 am (UTC)(link)
Isn't getting chosen by the gods for something bad a form of bad luck in itself, though? Since that would naturally be all tangled up in things like fate, divine intervention, and so on. Bad luck on a grand scale, you know?
the4united: (umm)

[personal profile] the4united 2022-04-30 12:21 am (UTC)(link)
Ah... that's a good point. That's a pretty grand scale though.
daikonrose: (137)

[personal profile] daikonrose 2022-04-30 12:37 am (UTC)(link)
They already got multiple universes involved when they started kidnapping us, so I'd say we're living on a pretty grand scale as it is.
Edited 2022-04-30 00:37 (UTC)
the4united: (Default)

[personal profile] the4united 2022-05-02 12:03 am (UTC)(link)
True... and it does feel a lot like luck of the draw on who got brought here. I can think of a lot better people than me where I'm from who would like to be touched.
daikonrose: (174)

[personal profile] daikonrose 2022-05-02 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
Right? There are surely plenty of self-sacrificing heroic types who don't mind casual skinship, but they keep striking out on who they pick. It makes more sense if it's random, and then luck is really what it comes down to.
the4united: (Default)

[personal profile] the4united 2022-05-02 01:06 am (UTC)(link)
They wouldn't even need someone self-sacrificing. Just someone who likes people. Clearly they don't consider that.

[Though is it truly that they don't consider it or is it just that there isn't that much control?]
daikonrose: (108)

[personal profile] daikonrose 2022-05-02 01:34 am (UTC)(link)
... Do you not like people?
the4united: (smile)

[personal profile] the4united 2022-05-02 02:12 am (UTC)(link)
I like people most of the time. A lot of them just don’t like me. Or at least my own people don’t.

I just didn’t explain very well. I’m not a touchy feely kind of person, if that makes sense?

[He never even got to experience those types of feelings when he was a kid, so now it’s rather ingrained. Plus, you have to trust people not to abandon you to get that close, and his abandonment issues are too extreme for that.]
daikonrose: (43)

[personal profile] daikonrose 2022-05-05 02:04 am (UTC)(link)
[ Oh no, she wasn't trying to get him to say he was unpopular. What an awkward mood. ]

Ah, no, I can understand that. That's kinda what I meant--a lot of us here aren't too gung ho about that kind of thing.
the4united: (say what?)

[personal profile] the4united 2022-05-11 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
[Unpopular is an understatement, man. He's flat out hated by most mages.]

Really? Here I thought it was just me.

[There's not even an ounce of sarcasm in that either. He hasn't found that many people who are bothered by the situation - or accidental touch from people in general - to the extent that he is.]
daikonrose: (38)

[personal profile] daikonrose 2022-05-14 12:51 am (UTC)(link)
That's how I felt at first too! Sometimes it still feels like I'm making a big deal when everyone else can handle it--but there really are a surprising number of us, if you ask around.
the4united: (smile)

[personal profile] the4united 2022-05-27 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
Huh. That's... kind of good to know actually.
daikonrose: (35)

[personal profile] daikonrose 2022-05-28 07:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Most people have been nice to me even when I've been a pain about it, so I'm sure if you just mention it to whoever you're dealing with, it'll go fine for you. You might even discover a real kindred spirit. Everyone has their own different reasons and preferences, of course.
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